Lamest ways to die in a video game

The NES Transformers game sets you up to immediately fail

The Transformers: Mystery Of Convoy is a Japanese-release only NES game that’s resurrected as a cutesy phone-app game and an anime, nearly three decades after it’s release because of course it has. You play the Autobot Ultra Magnus, a character nobody has ever even tried to care about, and your quest is to find out who killed the way-cooler character he does a terrible job of replacing: Optimus Prime. The game was created to segue the plot between the second and third series of the cartoon because Transformers: The Movie wasn’t released in Japan until the late ’80s, and you couldn’t hop onto the internet to find out why everyone’s favorite character was dead and replaced with robots nobody heard of.

If you weren’t extremely careful, someone would have to find out who killed Ultra Magnus too, and we’re not talking about his gruesome death toned down for the movie. The NES game has always been noted for its extreme difficulty, and doesn’t let up from the very literal beginning. Because during Ultra Magnus’ entry into Stage 1, you can be shot down by planes before your introductory music even finishes playing, if you don’t react immediately. You can easily use up all three lives in under twenty seconds. There’s brutal, and there’s getting a “Game Over” screen in less time than it takes to give the Universal Greeting.