Lamest ways to die in a video game

Night Trap lets you snatch defeat right from the fanged jaws of victory

Night Trap is basically Five Nights At Freddy’s if you exchanged the animatronic creatures for cyberpunk vampire things, a house rather than a pizza restaurant, and most of the plot with extremely soft-core porn involving Z-list television actresses in tiny, grainy full-motion video. So maybe it’s really nothing like FNAF, besides the whole game being seen through security camera footage.

It was a big, literally being discussed in the US Senate, deal for a few months, and then mostly forgotten once gamers realized it was mostly about getting lectured by Dana Plato from Diff’rent Strokes, coupled with dry ice effects and “vampires” that looked like extras from an X-Files porn knockoff. So it’s not a great game, but it does offer the unique opportunity to ruin everything you’ve done at the very last possible moment! After setting off booby traps throughout the house to get rid of all the vampires Plato’s character — an agent of SCAT (Sega/Special Control Action Team, you filthy children) — steps through one of the traps on her way out of the house after congratulating you. Guess what? You now have the chance to trap her on her way out the door, which rewards you with a screaming guilt-trip, a hilarious animation of her tumbling into who-knows-maybe-outer-space, and a game over right in the middle of what should have been your successful ending. So, maybe not something to brag about.